


Trying Not To Love You

by AlauraCalamity



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Cute, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Original Works - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 21:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8029324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlauraCalamity/pseuds/AlauraCalamity
Summary: Alaura lives in a nice house with her girlfriend, her best friend, Rou, and Rou's boyfriend AJ. But, there's a flaw in her otherwise good life. Ally has unrequited feelings for Rou. At least, she's pretty sure they're unrequited... When Faey gets called home for a family emergency, and AJ goes to a friends bachelor party in Vegas, Ally and Rough struggle with their feelings for each other. Will they survive a passionate night of drinking, drugs, and confessions, or will a few people get hurt beyond repair?





	1. The Dream

**MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR** : **Hey guys, just wanted to say this is my first published story that I did all on my own. I've been sitting on this story for a _long_ time, and I'm happy to get it out there. **

**I know nobody is gonna read this, but if you somehow do, I just wanted to say thank you. Feel free to leave a comment on something you like, something you hate, etc. I love constructive criticism. It makes me feel like I have something to strive for, or let's me know what I'm doing is good. There's always room for improvement, nonetheless. Just, keep in mind I am definitely an amateur.**

**Enough of my rambling! On to the story!!**

 

* * *

 

 

    There's no better way to spend the night than at the park, watching the stars with your best friend on an old swing set. I lower my eyes away from the sky to grin at her, and she bit her lower lip, trying to keep in a giggle. We haven't snuck out of the house together in ages, and despite being full grown adults, it still had a rebellion-like feel to it, making us giddy. Rebels without a clue.

    The big, full moon hung lazily in the sky above us while we sat, gently rocking in the swings of our childhood playground. We've had a lot of memories together here. I smiled at the thought, nostalgia running through me, as well as a longing in the pit of my stomach for what used to be. The twinkle in her eyes when she looked at me, and the look on her face let me know she knew precisely what I was thinking, and she was thinking about it too. 

    "Its been a while, Ally." Rou said softly, her mischievous smile falling to a more somber one. I could hear a longing, the same longing that I felt, in her voice. I nodded, watching her as she turned her gaze back to the stars. She's just as beautiful as any day I've looked at her, yet I still can't help but notice it anyway. She does that to me. No matter what day, no matter where, she still gets me. 

    The way the moonlight made her eyes shine, and bathed us in silvers and shadows that just made me... breathless. 

    "Too long, Rou. Too fucking long. It still feels like we haven't hung out in forever." I smiled at her. "Just the two of us." Our bedrooms in the house we lived in were just down the hall, no more than a few footsteps away, but it was hard to hang out. We were busy. 

    Rou hopped off of her swing  and walked over to mine, taking my hand in hers. Even though it shouldn't, the gesture made my heart skip a beat or two, and my face slowly started burning. _Stupid._

    _Hold it together, Alaura._ I thought sternly, forcing myself to look up at her with a confused smile. _This is just a friendly gesture. No meaning behind it..._ I felt a twinge of disappointment, but kept my smile suspended by strings. 

    "Let's go sit on the grass, Ally. I've gotta tell you something, and the swing is hurting my butt." She tugged gently on my hand, forcing me to stand and follow her to a spot under a tree that has overlooked the park for longer than we've been alive. Because the grass started sloping into a small hill, it always made a comfortable place to sit on summer days, shaded by the long, thick branches, under bark filled with memories. 

    We sat close, as we normally would on a winter night, but I didn't realize how close until our shoulders brushed. I turned my head to look at her, startled to find that our faces were merely inches away from each other, and my breathing hitched itself in my throat. 

    I cursed silently in my head at the clearly audible sound, and willed myself to calm down under her watchfully-curious gaze. Our eyes met, and I was confused by the look she was giving me. Worry. Desperation. I don't know, but she looked scared. 

    She bit her lip again, this time as a clear sign to show she was thinking, judging by the way her forehead wrinkled in concentration. When she spoke, her voice was shaky, and slightly higher pitched, another indicator that she was scared. Her eyes were distant, looking right through me, almost like I was invisible. 

    "A-Ally... I want to tell you something. You're my _best_ friend. But I-I don't know how you react, and I'm scared..."

    "You're not pregnant, right?" I asked with a playful smirk, only half-joking. I was worried. Of course, how could I not be? She was acting strange! But, a little humor could help settle both of our nerves.

    Her voice went shrill in defense, her cheeks going red, and she slapped my arm."What? No! Ally," She was obviously trying not to smile. "This is serious!" 

    I gulped, discouraged from making a playful attempt at justifying myself. She was serious, and I was trying to be a joke star. _Nice going, Ally._ "Oh-Okay. Well- Um...- you know if you ever need me, I'm here for you. Right?" I brushed a stray hair from her face, gingerly tucking it behind her ear. "No matter what."

    She smiled, obviously relieved at my words of encouragement. "But, I'm afraid you'll hate me. Or, things will change between us." She went quiet, and so did I. We could hear the winter breeze rustling the tree leaves above us. It was pretty quiet, with the entire neighborhood asleep. The houses surrounding the park were dark, and no cars were driving down the roads. It was as though the entire city decided to leave us alone in our memory-filled park.

    I bit my lip, desperate to escape the quiet. I've always hated it. Its too empty, to lonely. And, interestingly enough, too loud.

    "What did I say, woman? No. Matter. What. You can tell me anything, and I'll never hate you. You could even kill someone, for fuck's sake. And sure, we may change a bit. But who's to say it'll be a bad change? Everyone changes over time."

    She grabbed my hand, clutching it tightly. "Promise me, you won't freak out when I tell you?" 

    "I promise."

    "Pinky promise?" She let go of my hand to hold her pinky out to me.

    I giggled. "That's a bit childish." She slapped my arm again and thrust her pinky into my face. 

    "Okay, okay!" I held up my hands briefly to show my surrender. I locked my pinky with hers, making a face at her as I did. 

    She laughed at me and used her free hand to poke my nose. "Quit it, child." She scolded playfully. "Lock it?" She asked, wiggling our interlocked pinkies to indicate what she meant. She raised her thumb expectantly. 

    I rolled my eyes and touched my thumb to hers, like we did when we were younger.

    "Locked!" I declared sarcastically. "Will you tell me, now that I've passed my trial?" 

    She smiled like a pleased child and lowered our hands, keeping our pinkies locked. 

    I raised a questioning eyebrow and glanced briefly at our hands. "Keeping my hand hostage there, Rou?" I grinned, but it quickly faded as my eyes met hers once again. This time, they shined with a fiery determination.

    She leaned into me, her eyes slowly closing. Her lips gently hovered above mine before she pressed into me, kissing me like her life depended on it. My eyes widened in surprise and my heart rate quickened. I could feel it pounding in my chest, and my neck. 

    She pulled back, her eyes open as wide as mine while she waited for my reaction. She looked like a terrified animal, her steely determination quickly replaced with fear. 

    I felt so many more emotions. Joy, excitement, confusion. My head was spinning, rotating on its axis in disbelief. I smiled and let go of her pinky, pulling her close to me, with my free hand on her hip. I kissed her. Kissed her as if there were no tomorrow. She went rigid for only a moment, my movements taking her off guard before she slid her arms around my neck, playing with my hair gently. I felt my mouth curve into a smile against hers, and tugged her into my lap. 

    When we parted for air, we were breathing heavily. "Rou... I-I.." I didn't know what to say, but luckily, I didn't need to.

    She raised a hand, successfully hushing me. "I love you, Ally." She kissed my forehead softly. "I always have."

    I didn't realize I was crying until she reached up and gently brushed the tears from my eyes with her thumb. "I-I... I love you too, Rou." 

    She leaned up to kiss me again, just as my alarm clock startled me back to the world of the living. I woke with a start, falling out of bed, with my face to break my fall. 

    "Fuck."

* * *

 

 

**Okay, well. Chapter one, finished! I've got some work to do. Let me know how you like it.**

**Until next time!!!**

**-Ally**


	2. Waking Up

I sat straight up in bed, and lost my balance as I tried desperately to kick my blankets off of me, falling onto my face. My heart was pounding and adrenaline rushed through my veins. _Jesus. What a way to wake up._

    "Fuck." I muttered, pushing off the ground and righting myself to a sitting position and propping myself against the bed. 

    _This is gonna be a great day!_ I thought bitterly, gritting my teeth. I sat still, listening to the sounds of the morning, as well as trying to calm my racing heart with slow, deliberate breaths. I could hear Rou and AJ's voice coming from downstairs. They sounded like they were having a slight argument. 

    I could also hear my girlfriend, Faey, in the bathroom, talking to someone, presumably on the phone. From the rare annoyance that colored her normally soft-spoken tone, I could instantly tell it was her cousin. She only uses that tone of voice for her, and, more often than not, me. _I'm special like that._ I thought to myself with a smirk.

    I used the bed as leverage and pulled myself up so that I was standing. Rou's laugh, the one she gives when she's annoyed traveled up through the floor, making me smile. Loud and fake, and filled with sarcasm. Even annoyed, her laugh was adorable. 

    "Ugh! Stop it." I said aloud, rolling my eyes. _God, I hate myself._  

    "Stop what?" Faey's soft voice came from the bathroom as the door opened, and she stepped out. She smiled, holding the phone against her shoulder to muffle any sound on either end. My face started burning in shame, and I really didn't want to answer. I'm not too good at coming up with lies on the spot. Especially half-asleep.

    I shot a questioning glance at her phone and raised an eyebrow with a fake smirk. She smiled and mouthed "Azzie" before raising the phone back to her ear. She rolled her eyes, her voice filled with exasperation.

    "Yes, yes! I'm listening. Sheesh!" Her voice became muffled as she returned to the bathroom,  shutting the door behind her. 

    I grinned at the door for a second. _She's so amazing. Seeming to handle the weight of the world on her shoulders without breaking._ My grin faded and a dark thought, one I try hard to forget, whispered darkly through my mind. _You don't deserve her. She could do so much better.  
_

    And that's the cold truth. She's too damn good for a girl that has been in love with someone else since their entire teenage years and beyond. That's not to say I don't love Faey. I do, and I have since we met senior year. She's my girlfriend, and I would protect her with my life. But I've been head over heels in love with Rou since, at least middle school. That's not fair to Faey. She deserves better. 

    I mean, look at me! I woke up from a romantic dream about Rou, one of many, and felt as guilty as a misbehaving puppy. I ran a hand through my hair, my finger getting caught in knots and curls. 

    I growled under my breath and walked to the closet, looking at myself in the mirror. _No use hating myself  half-naked all day._ I thought, rifling through my clothes. I settled on a pair of shorts and a T shirt. Stepping to the bathroom door, I knocked gently.

    "Hey, Faey. I need to take a shower. You almost done, doll?" I called through the door.

    "Yeah! One second, love." She called back. After a quick goodbye, Faey hung up and opened the door for me with a pained smile. 

    "Ally, when you are done with your shower, I need to tell you something. Its about my cousin, Azalea." She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek gently, and walked out.

    I sighed. Azalea's always getting into trouble. Faey's always busting her out. I swept my bangs across my face.

   "Well, shit."


	3. Marry That Girl

"She is where?!" I gaped at my girlfriend from the kitchen, as she sat at our kitchen table with Rou. My belly was burning with rage, and hunger, and my voice was shrill.

    Faey shrugged, playing with a loose strand of her hair nervously.

    "She's in the hospital. She got into a fight at a bar. The police want to arrest her for assault, and she needs me there." Faey said, sounding like this was a perfectly normal, regular occurrence in our lives. I guess, for Azalea, it is. "Please, Ally.. Don't make a big deal of this. You know how she is." She bit her lip and stared apologetically at me.

    "Baby, you're too nice. You can't keep bailing her out every time she gets caught. She needs to learn her lesson." I flipped the French toast I was cooking and caught it in the pan. 

    _Not too bad, Ally._ I complimented myself with a grin.

    Culinary training, plus the extra practice of cooking for my darling roommates, was really paying off after all.

    Faey dramatically blew air from her nose, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. "I know, I know. And she will!" She ignored both my, and Rou's disbelieving looks and muttered under her breath, "Eventually..."

    Rou laughed loudly. "Faey, I love you to death babe, but Ally's got a point. How's someone gonna learn their lesson if you swoop in to save them all the time?" 

    Faey glared at Rou from across the table. "Who's side are you on?" She grumbled. I smiled my thanks to Rou from over my shoulder, trying to ignore the stutter in my heart when she winked back at me. 

    "See? Don't go..." I flipped the French toast onto two respective plates, like a fucking boss, and placed them in front of Rou and Faey. 

    "D'awwwwwh, you didn't have to make _me_ food, darlin'!" Rou gushed as I placed some forks and syrup on the table.

    "Thank you, Ally!" Faey licked her lips eagerly. She loves my cooking, even though she's a great cook herself. Pouring syrup on her toast, she looked up at me with her big, green eyes. "I'm going, Ally. I'm sorry, but she needs me. Please understand." She dropped the syrup and passed it to Rou without looking, her eyes trained on mine. 

    The hope and pleading that shined in her eyes melted me like butter, and I found my stubbornness fading into a soft, begrudging acceptance. 

    "Oh, fine!" I threw my hands up in defeat. "I give. But I want you to tell her that I'm very disappointed with her, and next time she comes over, she gets no dessert after dinner." I used my best mothering voice, and tried not to let it crack with pent up laughter. _No dessert? Really Ally?_

    Rou busted up laughing, and Faey gave me a smile brighter than a-kid-on-Christmas-morning. She hopped out of her chair and threw her arms around me. "Thank you, love!" She ran out of the dining room. I could hear her hurried footsteps as she rushed up the stairs. 

    Rou finally caught her breath for a second. "No dessert, huh?" She giggled, trying to calm herself down. "That's a bit harsh, Ally. You'll break the poor girls heart! What next, a spanking?" She swirled a piece of toast in her syrup. 

    I rolled my eyes at her sarcasm. "No. She'd probably enjoy that." Making Rou laugh again. 

    "You know," Rou said around a bite of syrup-drenched toast, "You're pretty leniant with her. Like, you can never say 'no' to her." She pointed in the direction Faey ran to with her fork. "You need to marry that girl." 

    My face went red at how similar her words were to the thoughts that have been circling my mind all week like sharks circling their trapped prey, as well as how bold that statement was in general. Faey would probably hear us! Its not like the floor was some thick, sound-swallowing carpet. It was some cheap wood flooring. 

    And Rou knew my feelings about marriage, especially marrying Faey. It's, like, my number one goal. 

    But schooling is expensive, and I work two shitty part-time jobs. A cafe, and a latenight, weekend bar tending job. I can barely get enough sleep to get through my mountains of homework. I have no time, and no money for the engagement set I've had my eyes on for about a year now. Though, I did have a secret bank account, which was half way to the goal.

    "Rou!" I growled under my breath. "What if she can hear you?!" 

    She shrugged and smiled around another bite. "Its true!" 

    At that moment, Faey rushed down the stairs, with her small rolley suitcase rolling behind her, and ran to me. She wrapped one arm around my waist, the other gripping her suitcase. 

    "Alright, I'll be going then." She leaned on her tiptoes and kissed me softly. Just as she started to pull away, I took her hand, which was gripping her bag, in my own and pulled her close to me. I lifted her off the ground and starred spinning us, kissing her gently. She giggled against my lips as I slowed us down and set her on the ground. I rested my hands on her hips, and she reached on her tiptoes to nuzzle my neck gently. 

    It was definitely on the list of "Cheesy Things Ally Has Done in Her Life." But, how could I not? She was too cute, too caring. Too sweet.

    "I love you, Faey. Please, please, _PLEASE b_ e careful." 

    "I love you too, Ally. I'll only be gone for the weekend, okay?" 

     She pulled away from me and walked behind Rou's chair, hugging her from behind and giving her a kiss on the top of her head. "Bye, Rou! Love ya!" 

    Rou smiled and patted Faey's arm. "Love you too, cutie." 

    Faey pulled away and grabbed her bag, walking towards the front door.

    She turned and waved to us, blowing me a kiss (which I pretended to grab from the air and put it in my pocket, for a rainy day. God, I'm cheesy.) and grabbing the keys of our beat up Jeep. "Bye guys! Be home soon!" 

    I smiled at the closed door for a few moments before turning to Rou, who was finishing her French toast. 

    "You know, it may not be for a while. But you're right." I looked back at the door with a smile. "I'm gonna marry that girl."


End file.
